Tag Team for Jesus Christ
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Psalma Mama aka Dawn Gwin
Choose Life (Part 1)
When I was 19 years old, I was living in another homeless facility. I had all I wanted of life (so I thought) and wondered often, "What are we here for?" and, "Life is dumb, what's the use of it all?" and, "What? Do we just exist here and try to make it the best way we can without losing our mind completely, and continue to smile and say, "Let the band play on" no matter the grief or sorrow?" Of course I wouldn't have thought that if I had known I could have a relationship with my Creator, the One Who took a lot of thought into fashioning me in my Mother's womb; the One Who had a plan for my life, not to ruin me, but to give me hope and a future. But, I didn't know Him and wasn't aware I could, so, so I gave in to despair, and since I had failed at suicide attempts before, I planned it this time to be successful at it, so I thought. I went to sleep that night at the same time everyone else in the facility did, but right before going to sleep, I took one hundred and three nerve pills. I was so happy I wasn't going to wake up. I didn't want to live another day not knowing if one living soul cared if I lived or died, so I took the easy way out. When I awoke 5 days later, I was soooo angry! I can't describe to you how utterly saddened I was to still be in this world. They said I did very strange things for a couple of days like try to put mascara on with my hairbrush, and that I cried a lot. I wanted to know who was responsible for butting in to my business, and not letting me die: a nurse came in and told me "A woman came in here and prayed for you." I later found out her name was "Sharon Palone;" but I never found her. Was I going to thank her? No! I wanted to let her know what a hurtful and cruel thing it was for her to get involved. I sure thanked GOD years later though when I came to the realization I would have gone straight to Hell if I had died that night. I would not have passed "GO" and would not have collected "two-hundred dollars." (That's a little joke.) Someone introduced me to Jesus 9 years later, and was I ever glad. Now that I knew I was born-again, I've known for sure I am Heaven-bound. WOOHOO, praise GOD He let me live. Since then, I've been delivered from deep depression, a selfish life, just existing with a heart full of sin and despair, guilt and shame, along with the deepest loneliness I wore on me like skin. I did what the book of Romans chapter 10 verses 9 and 10 said, even though I didn't understand what it meant, and I haven't been the same. I found my reasons for living, and so much more I don't have room to write. Last night on the way to share Jesus with people at the homeless shelter, GOD put it on my heart to share this part of my life with them. In my next post, I will share with you the mighty miracles GOD did there last night.
Thank you for reading this long story, GOD bless your heart!