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Psalma Mama aka Dawn Gwin
psalmamama.com • sozoprayze.com
Tag Team for Jesus Christ
Have You Thought About Forgiving Yourself?
About five years ago I fell down a flight of stairs, ending up in the dirt on my face at the bottom of them. I suffer so much pain in my hip, leg and knee because it, when my legs were "strong as steel" I thought, before that. I was so mad at myself for the longest time when I realized why I fell. We had left our church home to do the services full-time at a retirement home. When we left the church building, we didn't leave the Lord, but because we left (with no hard feelings and offenses whatsoever of our own), we caused hard feelings in others, not at all meaning to, by our sudden change. We had been praying about this for a long time.
It wasn't a decision my husband and I made, we were just following
the leading of The Lord the best way we could.
We leaving our church family in presence only, didn't mean we left them in our heart. (Have you ever been the type who gets so attached to people, but feel you are forgotten when you aren't pleasing people instead of pleasing GOD?) I mean, it was like we no longer existed. I would call people and act like nothing had changed, because it hadn't as far as I was concerned. I still loved them the same; but there was an obvious coldness/rejection on the other end of the phone, and it hurt. It was so painful inside my heart that I allowed myself to go into a depression. When my defense was down toward the real enemy of my soul, the devil, my spirit was down, and my body fell down with it. O, if only I had known it would end up that way, I would have stayed in GOD's Presence more and let Him soothe me, heal me, restore, and comfort me. I would have let my best Friend, Jesus walk me through it, instead of keeping my thoughts on the negative side of it. Please don't let that happen to you! Take it to The Lord in prayer, and stay there for a little bit.
I asked The Lord to forgive me for giving in to anxiety, which causes depression, and He forgave me, but it took a long time for me to forgive myself, b/c I'm still suffering from the consequences of it. He said in Matthew 6, if I don't forgive, He can't forgive me, so... I forgive myself today. Amen.
GOD’s grace in Dawn Gwin 03-21, 2015